Een brief aan mijn moeder

Time to let go of all this blame,
time to let go of these fealings of guilt and shame.
The hardest thing I ever had to do,
is to let go of you.
Because when I do,
my life will never be the same.
When I let go, it is time to live and create my own game.

I need to live the life that I am supposed to be living.
I need to brake the chords between us and be forgiving.
For all my sorrow and pain,
I constantly chose you to blame.
And you choose me,
for yóur responsibility.

I can't be responsible anymore for your love, and am not and never have been for your pain.
Just like it isn't fair of me to put in on you, all the blame.
Because I am too, responsible for my own life.
For my own sorrow and the healing of my heart so I can thrive.
Nothing is on you, nor have you ever be the one to blame.
For all mý feelings of guilt, for all mý pain.

I am letting you go,
I am responsible for my own energy flow,
for my own Love and my own Glow.

And so are you, for yóur own life, your own strength and your own health.
I choose not for lack anymore, not for scarcity, but to live in abundance and wealth.
That means for me,
that I have to break free.
Because with you, I can't be,
the truest and most beautiful version of myself. Underneath your wings, I can't be the Goddess version of me.
Because sweet momma, you still live in so much scarcity.

I can't be your little child anymore, that needs protection to not get hurt.
I am a grown-up now. I have seen and experienced so many things, I have been through the dirt.
I know how to handle it.
I need to take care of my own shit.
I need to live my own life.
Staying under your wings and control dear momma, I can't thrive.

There is no guilt, it is not on you.
You just don't know how to,
love yourself from within.
You are holding so much fear, I don't even know where to begin.

I now realise that carrying your fears and burden is not on me.
Dear momma, I need to break free.
Free from fear,
that is keeping me here.
That is keeping me your little girl and keeping me small.
I have to break free from it all.

The time for me has come.
I will be moving on.
I can't carry your fears and burden, your heavy energy, any longer.
I need to let you go to become my own woman, to become stronger.
I need to let go of our familykarma, of your pain.
I need to let go in order to gain.

I need to find my own way.
Therefore, I can't stay.
This is not my home anymore,
Spirit has so much more for me in store.
This is not where I belong.
I have to be brave, I have to be strong.
Because letting you go,
to be able to step into my power, to be able to grow.
Is th hardest thing I ever had to do.
Because momma, I need you to know, I deeply love you.

I have my own life to live, I want to travel the world and carry on, on my journey and have a family of my own to start.
Wherever in the world I will be dear momma, you are always in my heart.

I will carry you with me, in Spirit along the way.
The feelings of guilt of leaving you behind, they cannot stay.
I will release this energy now and what is yours to carry I give back.
No more scarcity for me and no more living out of lack.

I choose to live in abundance and wealth.
I have to let you take care of your own life and health.
You are responsible for your own life,
and I will be for mine. I choose to not live in fear anymore, I choose to thrive!!

''Dear Spirit,
Set me free.
Of all this lack and feelings of scarcity.
I choose to break through my fears, I choose to be me.
Unconditionally.
The time has come for me,
to pack my bags and go.
I need my surroundings to strengthen my Light so it can become stronger, so it can unconditionally glow.

Dear Spirit,
I need the Love to Flow''.

The hardest thing dear momma, is that you won't understand why,
I have to break these energetic chords between us, that are keeping me small, in order to spread my wings and fly.
But that's okay,
because deep within, you have always known that I wouldn't stay.
You have known that there would come a time that I would move abroad, quite far away.

That means that we won't be seeiing eachother anytime soon.
So when you miss me, just look at the Moon.
And think of your crazy daughter who found her Spirit, the missing parts of her Soul,
who became a Shaman again, who became whole.

My Soul mission and purpose is to travel the world and heal many people along my way.
Please understand, sweet momma, it has already been written in the stars. I wasn't born to stay.

I love you.

Avalon


En als ik heel eerlijk ben,
vind ik het ook supereng,
om er straks alleen voor te staan.
Om er alleen op uit te trekken met in mijn hoofd dat ik niet snel weer terugkeren zal gaan.
Ik heb namelijk geen idee hoe mijn leven vanaf hier zal vergaan.
Ik heb geen idee wat er gebeuren gaat en of ik het alleen wel redden ga,
het heeft geen zin om daarover na te denken, dat zie ik vanzelf wanneer ik volledig op eigen benen sta.
Ik vertrouw op mijzelf en weet dat ik door Spirit goed word begeleid.
Zolang ik op mijn Hart blijf vertrouwen en bouwen, raakt mijn Geest vanzelf steeds meer van het lijden bevrijd.
Ik laat mij meewaaien met de wind,
die ervoor zal zorgen dat ik mijn weg vind.

Ik weet dat ik het leven aankan, ook wanneer ik daar alleen voor zou staan.
Lieve mama, ik laat jou los. Ik ben klaar om verder te gaan.